


I Woke Up Late Today

by Shelbell



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-15 13:11:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1306009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shelbell/pseuds/Shelbell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So...Harry and Draco have spent the last few years in a relationship when things finally go wrong for the last time. Harry reflects on their relationship and slight angst ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Woke Up Late Today

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I do not own the Harry Potter universe or the recognizable characters I used. That all belongs to our fabulous Queen Ms. J.K. Rowling!
> 
> Also, the story is based along the same lines of the song Stronger by Sara Evans. So, obviously that inspiration isn't mine either. :P

 I woke up late today, something I haven’t done in two years. You always woke me up at dawn, so we could drink a cuppa and watch the sunrise from our balcony. My heart clenches in response to the pain of the knowledge that’s never going to happen again. I get out of bed and brush my teeth, after all, I can’t very well owl in heartbroken, can I?  
          

I get dressed through the mess, one more thing to remind me of you. You never liked it when I left my robes in the corner of our room and you hated it when I left a wet towel on the floor of the bathroom. I sigh as I fight the useless battle against my hair in the mirror. I gaze at myself. I’m supposed to meet Mione and Ron today for lunch and I know Mione will ask about the deep circles under my eyes, ask if I’m having nightmares, and in a way I suppose I am.  
Only it’s no longer the memory of Voldemort, or the final battle that plagues me when I close my eyes, no, it’s the ghost of your lips on mine, the faint sound of your voice calling my name in the throes of passion, that broad smile only I ever got to see. The one that showed you loved me, that proved we could handle anything as long as we did it together.  
         

I force a smile on my face, knowing Kingsly will see it doesn’t reach my eyes but has enough sense not to ask. Ron won’t notice if I smile, he never does, but Mione, Mione always does. She’ll recognize the signs of another fight between us, only this time, you won’t be coming back. In a couple days I’ll still look as miserable as I do now, and I’ll be feeling the void in my heart only you ever managed to fill.  
Still, with this smile I grow a little bit stronger, and I know, that if I make it through this I can make it through anything, even though it seems impossible right now. I leave the flat that once was a home to us both, but now seems so empty, so dead, like it knows you’ll never sweep the floors, decorate for the holidays, or just sit by the fire with a book waiting for me to come home. Yes, I think the house senses your loss too.  
           

Riding in my car to work and I think of you, of how you never understood why I loved to drive instead of Apperate or Floo, you never understood the freedom I felt when I drove, but you allowed it. You merely smiled in amusement at my antics when we bought this the first birthday we had together. I try and ignore the hurt, knowing never again will you fight me for the radio station. So I turn on the radio now, and the stupid song that comes on reminds me of you. You loved muggle music, even though you’d never admit it in a million years. I smile slightly to myself, and listen for a minute imagining you singing along. Then I change it, knowing I can’t listen to it right now, not with the break with you so fresh in my mind, my heart.

I remind myself I’m getting a little stronger every time I ignore something like that, every time I don’t burst into tears over you.  
I remind myself I’m done hoping we can work it out, done with how it feels letting you drag my heart around. And I’m definitely done thinking you’ll ever change, and wishing I’d listened to Ron in the beginning, when he told me we’d never work out. As I look back on the last three years I can see clearly, but then, Hindsight is always 20/20, isn’t it? I can see that with every remark about my friends, my clothes, my hair and my manners that the worlds we came from are just too different. It hurts to know that this was doomed from the start.

  
Now, I can recognize that under current that was always behind your playful jibes, the disdain in your eyes, the sarcasm in your smile and the mocking in your laugh. All things I didn’t see, or, more likely, refused to see because I was bloody in love with you, because I believed that in time you would change, after all, everyone does, don’t they? Everyone, it seems, except you. I shouldn’t be surprised, you always were the exception to every rule.

I know my heart will never be the same after what we had, after what you’ve done, but I’m telling myself that it’s okay. I’m telling myself that because I know, that even on my weakest days, those days when the emptiness on your side of the bed seems to be unbearable, those days when I sit on the balcony by myself and my heart breaks because I know that you must not have ever really loved me, that those words were the greatest lie that ever graced your beautiful lips, that I’m getting a little bit stronger, every day I don’t owl you, every night I don’t go to your favorite clubs and beg you to come back to me, I’m getting a little bit stronger.

  
It doesn’t happen overnight, after all, I’m not like you, I’m not a liar, every time those three words left my mouth they came from the heart. But then I turn around and realize a month’s gone by, a month that I haven’t cried, a month that I haven’t searched for comfort in the bottom of a bottle of Fire Whiskey. I’m not giving you anymore time, not another hour, minute or second am I wasting on you, and you do you know why Draco? Because I’m too busy moving on, because I really believe I deserve better than you.

  
I came across you just yesterday, a new man on your arm, straight black hair and green grey eyes. You ask me how I’m getting along, and I told you I’m getting along without you baby, while you’re stuck in what used to be, in what you threw away because you refused to change, I told you the truth. I told you I’m better off without you, because I’m done thinking we could work it out, done letting you drag my heart around. I said that I’m done thinking you could ever change, and though I know my heart will never be the same I’m stronger without you, and as I walked away I asked how does it feel without me baby? Because I’m happier without you.


End file.
